I'd probably be happy
by lowi
Summary: James thought he had moved on from Lily. Written for Vicky! Songfic, Bright Eyes' "First day of my life" is used.


_A/N: This is written for Vicky's (__vicky199416__) birthday! Happy birthday, I hope you'll like this and have a great day!_

_The lyrics are from Bright Eyes' First Day of My Life._

_Thanks to Jo (__jojor99__) for betareading!_

**I'd probably be happy**

_yours is the first face that I saw_

_I think I was blind before I met you_

It's odd, isn't it? You had finally given up and stopped fighting. You simply didn't have the power anymore; there was something inside you that had broken. You couldn't stand the thought of being rejected again.

So you sat by the breakfast table, not hearing a word of Sirius' and Remus' banter, your eyes focused on a spot right above Peter's shoulder, and your spoon moving in circles in your bowl of cereal.

That's why you didn't see her when she walked over to you. She had to tug on your arm, and you were so caught up staring in to nothing, you didn't feel the spark shooting through your body like fireworks, but then; then it lingered, even after she removed her hand.

And then you remembered to tear your gaze away from her green coloured fingernails that matched her eyes so perfectly, which you were certain they did even if you didn't look at her eyes, because they were stuck inside your head, and they wouldn't leave even if you had decided to move on.

But when you lifted your head and met those eyes, you realize you didn't really remember them correctly, because they were so much more shimmering, much more glittering and much more _beautiful__,_ and you could look into them forever.

Then she said something, which you didn't comprehend because the smile after she had spoken was so dazzling, you simply had to stare at her. It made you smile as well. She was more beautiful than ever, with the way she laughed, the faint blush on her cheeks and the way her soft, red curls bounced. Then Sirius punched you on the arm.

"Mate, she asked if you want to _go out_ with her," he whispered with an excited look and you narrowed your eyes but didn't understand a word of what he was saying.

And then she giggled and you looked back at her, not wanting to miss a nanosecond of this Lily that wasn't angry with you.

Then Remus said, "He'll come Lily, you've got to excuse him; he's not working properly this early in the morning."

You had no idea of what they were talking about, your mind was filled with LilyLilyLily, and her eyelashes touching her cheekbone when she blinked , her fingers dancing over the hem of her cloak, her smile when she answered Remus, and her voice echoing in your head.

When she left you wanted to rub your eyes, because: What had happened?

You got the explanation from your friends, who were all howling with laughter when they told you that Lily had asked you out, and you hadn't said a word, but had been sitting there with a goofy smile on your face.

And even though you snapped back at your friends for laughing at you, your inside was screaming with happiness. You had always known it would be impossible to move on, and thank Merlin for that.

_I don't know where I've been_

_but I know where I want to go_

It's odd, isn't it? You had imagined this moment so many times, how you would lean closer to her, remove a curl from her face, look deep into those eyes, take her hands, and kiss her.

So when you both walked home from Hogsmeade and everything was already perfect because you had spent a whole day with Lily, and she grabbed you hand and you felt jolts soaring through your body, no matter that there were gloves covering both of your hands.

And you walked in silence and you were certain she could hear your heart, because it had never beat this hard before. Then she took a firmer grip of your hand and you thought your heart would actually _stop_. But the only thing stopping was her, and she gave you a look that you had never seen in her eyes before, and you couldn't say anything at all. She put her hands on your cheeks, her lips on yours, and you closed your eyes because this was more than you could have ever expected, and she tasted like cinnamon and chocolate at the same time and _Merlin! She's kissing you!_

No, you certainly hadn't imagined it would be her kissing you, but somewhere within you, you never would have wanted it to be any other way.

_and I thought it was strange_

_you said everything changed _

It's odd, isn't it? You didn't ask her until years later why she had changed her mind, all of a sudden, that autumn's morning and decided to ask you out. She answered you by kissing you and saying "I woke up," and you were completely happy with her answer, because it was not the most important thing, at least not when Lily was kissing you.

_besides maybe this time it's different_

_I mean I really think I like you_


End file.
